The O-Bitchuaries: The Biographies of Deceased Relationships

By: jackiereedy

Nov 21 2009

Category: Uncategorized

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By Jackie Reedy

Not all relationships have happy endings or find the “pot of gold” at the end of the rainbow. There are unfortunate cases in which relationships experience painful death. Whether it’s a loss of interest or downright cheating, relationships die and hearts get broken. Fortunately for us, it’s funny… until someone gets hurt.

 

What’s done in darkness is always brought to light…

“Okay, so I had been going out with this girl for about five months when one of my old flames invited to me to go on her sorority’s big formal event in Atlanta. My girlfriend wasn’t thrilled, but she literally used the words, ‘I trust you.’ To make a long story short, my date and I got really drunk and ended up hooking up. We both felt terrible in the morning about what had happened and promised to keep it on the down low so my girlfriend wouldn’t have to find out. About three days go by, and I think I’m in the clear when I log onto Facebook to see that I had gotten tagged in the background of a formal pic making out with my date. My girlfriend broke up with me the second she saw it; it was terrible.”  –Jake, 20
Busted! There’s no such thing as “just friends” when alcohol is involved…  Did you really think you could get away with that?  What a tool!

 

The Playeress

I started dating this guy really casually my freshmen year of college, and we ended up being together for about seven months. My boyfriend lived with five roommates in a really nice house, and since I was always over there, I got to be good friends with them over the course of the seven months. So anyway, one of my boyfriend’s roommates was hot. After a night of drinking at the bars, my boyfriend and I came back to the house. He went up to his room and passed out, but I wasn’t tired, so I stayed downstairs and talked to the hot roommate for a while. He was a little drunk too and somehow we end up going to his room and talked for like two hours straight. Eventually conversation stopped, one thing led to another, and we ended up hooking up. I broke up with my boyfriend about a week later out of guilt. I haven’t talked to either since.”  –Victoria, 19
It’s nice to see that the girl’s a player for a change—you should have stayed with your boyfriend and kept your hook up on the down low for entertainment.

 

Deer in the Headlights

I was a junior in high school, and I was dating a senior guy. He was a total player, and when we were dating, he also turned out to be dating to this other girl who was on my soccer team! He would tell me that she was ‘just a friend,’ and he would tell her the same thing about me. This went on for almost three months before one of our mutual friends on the soccer team realized what was going on. Because the guy was on the guys’ soccer team, we both ended up going to the same game to watch and cheer him on. Our mutual friend strategically had us sit next to each other at the game. We got to talking and realized what was going on. We showed each other text messages and talked about our conversations with him… it was bad. After the game, we both found the guy and confronted him together. I think he almost peed his pants when he saw us walking towards him…”  –Zoey, 20
What a jerk! Great thing you found out before things got too deep!  You should have stuck with it and played a few mind games before embarrassing him! 

 

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